Whether it is the week of midterms or you know you have an
overwhelming day approaching, everyone has different stresses that can easily
drive them up the wall. Usually in these stresses is when people will find the ways
in which they cope. Unfortunately, sometimes they see the coping
techniques they use are actually making the worrying situations worse. In this
case, they are coping negatively.
Bear with me as I tell
you a story…
Once there was a girl who at the
young age of 13 years old was told she has mild depression on top of dealing
with many previous years of unnecessary stress that was added to her life. It wasn’t
shocking news to her, because she already had an inclination that she had
something wrong with her. Before she was
diagnosed she had already knocked herself down and had given herself a low
self-esteem and self-value.
As a result she started to put herself in danger.
She would purposely put herself in risky situations that could possibly end her
life. She would stay up late and wake up early, barely eat, and harm herself on
a daily basis. When she had a terrible day she would put a razor to her skin. In
return she was left with wounds that she would have to hide and later feel
ashamed of. It was a never ending process and her therapist had to really work
with her to change these ways. Eventually, she found other ways to cope with
her sadness and self hatred. She is doing very well and is feeling great
lately. With a bittersweet heart, that girl is me.
It took me some time, but I eventually realized the actions I
did against myself I were not helping to fix the problem. I learned that cutting
my body only made me feel worse in the end, and I had to go an extra mile to
cover up what I did. I was coping very negatively. In the process of
understanding how bad I was coping I realized other thoughts I had were affecting
me negatively.
Here are some coping mechanisms people may not realize that are
negative:
- Driving fast in a car
- Chewing your nails
- Avoiding friends and family
- Yelling at others
- Procrastination
Some others, maybe obvious ones, are self-mutilation, using
drugs and alcohol, negative criticism of oneself, lying, eating too much or too
less, and doubt. If you know what negative coping techniques are you’re one
step ahead because you can avoid them from the beginning. I’m glad to say I found
ways to cope positively, although it is still hard at times. I believe everyone can find a way to escape their negative coping mechanisms, no matter how hard the struggle can be.
If you or anyone you know has a tendency to use negative coping techniques, either talk to them or seek help. It is important that you keep yourself safe and healthy. If you ever need someone to talk to, or know someone who is in danger, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Don't be hesitant to call, trust me.
