As the holiday season sets in, it
is hard to be feeling down and in the dumps. Everywhere you go you see the
words joy, cheer, happiness, and holiday plastered on every wall. However, if
you are feeling down lately, which could be possible due to seasonal depression
and/or just being a stressed out college student, you can take advantage of the
liveliness all around. The holidays are a time where friends and family members
can show their love and care for each other. There is no better support than to
feel loved. I know a lot of my friends are excited to go home and see their
families and friends.
However, sometimes you can feel
very lonely as you’re surrounded by these people. Don’t let yourself become
upset due to being bored or lonely. Take the intuitive and ask others to spend
time together with you. If you are worried about what to do, especially if you’re
on a tight budget, check out my friend’s awesome blog here for some delicious
treats to make.
The holidays are an exciting time
for everyone. Enjoy your holiday, relax, and be sure to take time for yourself.
Don’t become upset or lonely. Think of things to be grateful for. (If you need
help with that too, read Emily’s blog.)
It can be very hard for someone to reach out for help when
they feel low. Some have a large ego and take their pride very seriously and don’t
want others to know they have emotions. These people usually don’t realize it
but it causes a lot of unneeded pain and stress to their lives. It isn’t good
to keep your emotions bottled up because then it is only a matter of time until
they blow up, and who knows what would happen then. The best option these
people can do to save themselves is to reach out.
Sometimes, reaching out to a friend can solve the issue. It
is important to let your emotions out. Confine in a close friend and tell them
how you are feeling. Even if it doesn’t seem like a big problem, it will still
help you out. I know a problem I sometimes have when I reach out to a friend is
I think I am bothering them with my problems. I imagine they have busy lives and
have their own troubles they need to worry about so I shouldn’t annoy them with
mine. I’ve recently learned that if they are a true friend of yours, they will
be there for you no matter. They will be a person you can console in and they won’t
feel like you are annoying them. Read one of my previous blog posts for more thoughts on reaching out to friends.
Also, there are people out there in the world who work for a
living to help others feel good about them. This is where it is hard for people
to reach out. Some people have a mindset in their head that if you need to see
a counselor or a therapist then you’re crazy, too depressed, or are losing it. It
shocks me that people would feel this way because if you need help, then you
need help. I am not ashamed to say that I started going to therapy for
depression when I was in 8th grade. I was just 14 years old and I was
attending a therapy session every week for one hour. When I was going through a
really hard time I had to start going twice a week. If I never started going to
therapy, I would not be the person I am today, or as strong as I am today. After
sometime, certain circumstances made it so I couldn’t go to therapy any more. It
was a hard transition, but I did okay. Coming to college I thought I would be
fine. That wasn’t necessarily true so I went to the counseling center here at
Eastern. I’m so thankful I made that decision. Everyone is so welcoming and
kind. I love my counselor.
From a Christian stand point, there is always God. He is
always here for us no matter what. He will never leave or forsake you. His love
is stronger than anything else, and His powers will always overcome any
obstacle you’re facing. 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxieties on him, because
he cares for you.”
If you need other support, do not be afraid to reach out. You
will feel better and feel more in control of your life, I promise.
Everyone keeps saying how they hate “this time of year” or “well
it is that time of the semester.” I am a freshman in college and this is my
first semester, so it’s hard for me to really understand what everyone means
when they say “this time of the semester.”
However, I think I finally know.
Right now, I have so many papers due within a three day time
span. I know finals are right around the corner. To top it off, I am a mess of
emotions right now too. Everything is so overwhelming. It feels like lately it
is go, go, go, and don’t stop or else you’ll get behind. Everyone is asking so
much of me, but how I am suppose to give my all to one person or subject, and
still have enough energy and time to give to everyone and everything else.
Lately, I have been super emotional. I’ve been dealing with
many other people who are constantly asking me for advice and telling me about
the problems they are having. Within the past two weeks, I’ve been so caught up
in trying to help everyone else; I haven’t paid attention to my emotions
enough. Now, they seem to be hitting me all at once. You must take time for
yourself.Your health is important. It is most important actually, and it’s
okay to love yourself.
“As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have
a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones.”
Friends are the greatest.
They are who you spend some of you greatest memories, accomplishments, and failureswith. Friends are there for you when you need a “pick me up.” In many
instances, I have depended on my friends for comfort and support. i know I wouldn’t
be where I am today, or even who I am today if it wasn’t for the great friends I
have.
I have lost some of my greatest friends my senior year, and
it was heartbreaking and really difficult for me to go through. However, since coming
to Eastern I have found the greatest friends that I could EVER ask for. They have
given me more love and support than any of my other friends have. I tend to
believe there is a reason as to why everything happens. I know I lost friends
so I can gain even better ones with coming to Eastern.
The support I receive from my friends is tremendous. There have
been several instances since coming to college where I have felt pretty low
about myself. From past experiences, I have learned to reach out when I feel
that way. I was hesitant to do that at first since I didn’t have a close
relationship with anyone at Eastern yet, but I am so thankful I did. I put myself
out there and received so much comfort in return. I will forever be grateful for
all God has given me since coming to Eastern.
Throughout high school I would often say “I have no friends.”
Looking back now, I was wrong. I did have friends, but they weren’t always the
best ones and didn’t give me a great friendship. I often felt alone and that I was
putting more effort into maintaining a friendship than they were. It was
hurtful knowing I cared more about the friendship than they did, but I learned great
lessons from it. I learned how to be a great friend to others. Also, I learned
when enough is enough and when certain people are not benefiting me.
My advice to you, if you are feeling alone, reach out to
someone. Make friends and become part of a community. Even if it is just one or
two friends, you will feel so much better. Having a support system from friends
is the best feeling in the world. Once you find “your” group of people or
friends, grab them tight and never let go.
Waking up and getting out of bed can be the hardest obstacle you face for the day. You wake up, look in the mirror, and you see a waste of space. You don’t see a girl who is “wonderfully and beautifully made.” Your existence feels just as important as the dirt on the bottom of your shoe. How are you supposed to go on with your day and be successful when you feel like everything you do is pointless? What do you do when you feel like your life has no purpose? You are just a number to add to the population on the ten year consensus. You wake up and hope that this will be the last day you feel this way or something really positive and exciting will happen to change your mind set, but then you wake up the next day feeling the same way. No matter what you do, no matter who you talk to, no matter how hard you try to “fake it until you make it” you can’t shake off this large, heavy coat that drags you down deeper every single day. Eventually, you feel exhausted and emotionally drained. You catch yourself in a blank stare at the floor when you should be taking notes and focusing on school so you can get those straight A’s to make your family proud. But you don’t get those straight A’s. Then BOOM. There it is. Worthless. Useless. Stupid. Underappreciated. Undervalued. Insignificant. YOU ARE NOTHING. It is just one big never ending circle. How do you escape? Can you escape? ********************************************************************************* Woah. BACK TO REALITY. That is not true. Even if you feel like that description is an accurate representation of your feelings, it is not true at all. None of it. Don’t let yourself believe those things. Once you believe them they become your daily thought process. I know because I have been waking up feeling this way lately. I’ve been working to try to fix the way I think, but it has been very difficult. I’ve learned from some of the experiences I’ve been through with negative people in my life that the reason I feel worthless is because of them and their own insecurities. I have no reason to feel the way I do, other than the fact that other people have told me I’m worthless so many times that I have engraved it in my mind. Now I just need to reroute my mental process and change my cognitive thinking. I hope that if anyone reading this feels this way, you step back and look at your life. Look at your experiences and look at what you’ve accomplished. Compare the negatives to the positives and I promise you the positives will always come out on top. You might not believe me now, and it might be a hard concept to grasp, but I promise you it’s true. You ARE wonderfully and beautifully made. Keep Calm & Cope On!
Usually when you see someone crying
the in corner, it’s seen as weakness. Many
people try to hold back their tears in fear they will be ridiculed or judged.
However, CRYING IS OKAY. Not going to lie, I cry almost every day. (Which may
be a little excessive, but I don’t mind it.) It might only be a tear or two, but
it I still cry. When I’m really, really emotional my crying will be a lot
worse. Seriously, crying is okay!
Crying, along with laughing from my
previous post, can actually be healthy for you. For one, when you cry your
tears help you to see better and they clean out bacteria in your eyes. Also,
crying can help to fix your mood. This happens by lowering a possible high manganese
level, which would originally cause anxiety, stress, and irritability. Even
more, tears are the most beneficial for you. They help to clean out your nose
and your eyes. If enough tears get into your nose, it can loosen up mucus and
help clean your nose of bacteria. It
might sound very technical and confusing, but it’s just how the body works. In
all, crying has health benefits that will allow you to feel more at ease if you
need to cry.
Many
people bottle up their emotions and they become a ticking time bomb until they
blow up. Crying can help to relieve these bottled up emotions. Crying every now
and then will help to feel better before completely blowing up. It is very
unhealthy to keep everything to yourself so my advice is to just cry it out.
Crying
is a way that I cope with my problems majority of the time. I cry when I’m
happy and when I’m sad. When I know I need a really good cry I will take a
long, hot, and relaxing shower. If you’re a person who is afraid to cry, just
give it a try sometime. You might actually feel better in the end.
*Sometimes a good cry
is just what you need to release all the hurt you have built up inside.*
One coping technique that has worked for me throughout the
years of my struggles is laughing. Laughing is a free and fun way to enjoy you.
Usually, I laugh with the help of my friends, but I always enjoy making myself
laugh as well. I know it might sound really simple and doesn’t seem like it
would actually help if you are feeling down, but trust me, it does. However, I don’t
want you to think a serious mental illness can be laughed off, because it can’t.
Allowing a dosage of laughter into your everyday life will indeed make you feel
better. The sound of raging laughter is more contagious than a cough, yawn, or
sneeze.
Even more, there are great health benefits to laughing as
well. First, laughing relaxes your whole body, relieving stress and tension. Your
muscles will be relaxed for about up to 45 minutes after a good laugh. Second,
laughing reduces stress hormones and increases immune cells, creating a
stronger immune system, keeping you healthier. A final example is that laughter
triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. In all,
laughter makes you feel better. It adds extra joy to your life, improves mood,
and relaxes your body.
I love to laugh. I love to make others laugh. If I need a
good laugh, I usually got to YouTube and type in “funny animal videos” or “babies
laughing” and I usually find a good laugh. If you need a good laugh, visit this
website that has great jokes that will make you laugh! (They make me laugh, at
least.)
Whether it is the week of midterms or you know you have an
overwhelming day approaching, everyone has different stresses that can easily
drive them up the wall. Usually in these stresses is when people will find the ways
in which they cope. Unfortunately, sometimes they see the coping
techniques they use are actually making the worrying situations worse. In this
case, they are coping negatively.
Bear with me as I tell
you a story…
Once there was a girl who at the
young age of 13 years old was told she has mild depression on top of dealing
with many previous years of unnecessary stress that was added to her life. It wasn’t
shocking news to her, because she already had an inclination that she had
something wrong with her. Before she was
diagnosed she had already knocked herself downand had given herself a low
self-esteem and self-value.
As a result she started to put herself in danger.
She would purposely put herself in risky situations that could possibly end her
life. She would stay up late and wake up early, barely eat, and harm herself on
a daily basis. When she had a terrible day she would put a razor to her skin. In
return she was left with wounds that she would have to hide and later feel
ashamed of. It was a never ending process and her therapist had to really work
with her to change these ways. Eventually, she found other ways to cope with
her sadness and self hatred. She is doing very well and is feeling great
lately. With a bittersweet heart, that girl is me.
It took me some time, but I eventually realized the actions I
did against myself I were not helping to fix the problem. I learned that cutting
my body only made me feel worse in the end, and I had to go an extra mile to
cover up what I did. I was coping very negatively. In the process of
understanding how bad I was coping I realized other thoughts I had were affecting
me negatively.
Here are some coping mechanisms people may not realize that are
negative:
Driving fast in a car
Chewing your nails
Avoiding friends and family
Yelling at others
Procrastination
Some others, maybe obvious ones, are self-mutilation, using
drugs and alcohol, negative criticism of oneself, lying, eating too much or too
less, and doubt. If you know what negative coping techniques are you’re one
step ahead because you can avoid them from the beginning. I’m glad to say I found
ways to cope positively, although it is still hard at times. I believe everyone can find a way to escape their negative coping mechanisms, no matter how hard the struggle can be.
If you or anyone you know has a tendency to use negative coping techniques, either talk to them or seek help. It is important that you keep yourself safe and healthy. If you ever need someone to talk to, or know someone who is in danger, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Don't be hesitant to call, trust me.
In all you do, know you are worth it, no matter the situation.
In
my journey of finding what coping techniques worked for me, I spent some time
in the negative coping arena. It wasn’t one of the most proud moments in my
life, but I made it through which is all that matters to me. I had to change my
mind set to begin to accept more positive coping techniques.
Some of the generic or most known coping techniques are
exercise, reading, writing, or listening to music. These are skills I believe
college students use a lot because they are easy to do. But, in my quest to
find coping mechanisms that worked for me, those listed above weren’t enough
for me. I love to exercise so I would try to hit the gym three times a week,
but I also had dance classes every night so I had to be careful not to overdo
it. Reading was hard for me because I’ve always had a busy schedule and I couldn’t
find the time to sit down to read. I still
journal and write and it has grown on me more over the years. I make special time
to just sit down and write out all of my feelings and thoughts that have been
building up. Listening to music is always fun, but it becomes an action of everyday
life for teenagers, so it can be hard to find it as a coping technique.
After doing more research and experimenting, I’ve found some
great techniques that work for me very well. First, I love when things are organized
and clean. Whenever I feel down or stressed I will clean. Some days I would
spend all day cleaning my room. From doing laundry to vacuuming my floor and
cleaning my mirrors, I would do it all. Some days, I would even organize my
closet. Throughout most of high school, my closet was color coordinated. When I
had friends over they would notice and make a comment, but I loved it and kept
me calm. Another coping mechanism that really worked for me was when I painted
my nails or would play with different hairstyles. I would do things to pamper
myself and make myself feel good. If I had the time, I would make a whole day
out of it by taking a nice long shower, drying my hair, styling it, and
painting my nails. I would have my own low-key spa day, without spending money.
However, shopping and spending money can work as a coping mechanism as well. (Retail therapy is
REAL). There are some other little techniques I use like surrounding myself by
my best friends, laughing, and making others laugh.
My techniques may not work for you, but I suggest you give
them a try! I didn’t even realize some of the coping techniques I used would actually
help me or were even considered coping techniques.
Here are some other
techniques that have worked for me, or ones that I would like to try and
suggest you try, too:
Play with a pet
Watch a favorite TV show or movie
Rip paper into little tiny pieces
Cry it out
Go on a walk
Go fora
really long drive
Read the Bible
Stretch
Find a new music artist or listen to a different
genre from what you’re used to
I hope you can try
some of these techniques. Let me know how they work out for you, so I can learn
more about how it helped you.
One important skill I didn’t mention is using God. (If you’re
a Christian that is.) It was hard for me at first to wrap my head around this
concept, and it still is at times. Rely and pray to God and He will answers
your prayers and lift your problems up from you. I only started to read my
Bible within the past year and a half, but it has helped me a lot. God loves us
more than we can ever imagine. Below is a video of a woman’s story of how was
stress and what she did to help her get through it, and how she used God to
help her.
I hope this blog post can encourage you to search and test out positive coping mechanisms that work for you.
Coping is simply defined as facing or dealing with responsibilities, problems, or difficulties, especially successfully or in a calm or adequate manner (dictionary.com).There are many instances in life when coping is something you'll need to do. I went through a stage in my adolescence where I couldn't personally cope with the situations in my life at the time. I eventually had to seek how to cope and what the purpose of coping was. I learned that coping wasn't a scary or annoying process you had to go through to feel better. Most of the coping techniques I really enjoyed were activities I already did in my life. I learned quickly what coping techniques to use when and how I could benefit the most from the techniques. However, there are positive and negative coping skills, which was a different obstacle I had to overcome. Coping is used to help a person feel better about a particular circumstance in their life. Learning how to cope has helped me tremendously to push through tough times in my life and become the person I am today.
