One coping technique that has worked for me throughout the
years of my struggles is laughing. Laughing is a free and fun way to enjoy you.
Usually, I laugh with the help of my friends, but I always enjoy making myself
laugh as well. I know it might sound really simple and doesn’t seem like it
would actually help if you are feeling down, but trust me, it does. However, I don’t
want you to think a serious mental illness can be laughed off, because it can’t.
Allowing a dosage of laughter into your everyday life will indeed make you feel
better. The sound of raging laughter is more contagious than a cough, yawn, or
sneeze.
Even more, there are great health benefits to laughing as
well. First, laughing relaxes your whole body, relieving stress and tension. Your
muscles will be relaxed for about up to 45 minutes after a good laugh. Second,
laughing reduces stress hormones and increases immune cells, creating a
stronger immune system, keeping you healthier. A final example is that laughter
triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. In all,
laughter makes you feel better. It adds extra joy to your life, improves mood,
and relaxes your body.
I love to laugh. I love to make others laugh. If I need a
good laugh, I usually got to YouTube and type in “funny animal videos” or “babies
laughing” and I usually find a good laugh. If you need a good laugh, visit this
website that has great jokes that will make you laugh! (They make me laugh, at
least.)
Whether it is the week of midterms or you know you have an
overwhelming day approaching, everyone has different stresses that can easily
drive them up the wall. Usually in these stresses is when people will find the ways
in which they cope. Unfortunately, sometimes they see the coping
techniques they use are actually making the worrying situations worse. In this
case, they are coping negatively.
Bear with me as I tell
you a story…
Once there was a girl who at the
young age of 13 years old was told she has mild depression on top of dealing
with many previous years of unnecessary stress that was added to her life. It wasn’t
shocking news to her, because she already had an inclination that she had
something wrong with her. Before she was
diagnosed she had already knocked herself downand had given herself a low
self-esteem and self-value.
As a result she started to put herself in danger.
She would purposely put herself in risky situations that could possibly end her
life. She would stay up late and wake up early, barely eat, and harm herself on
a daily basis. When she had a terrible day she would put a razor to her skin. In
return she was left with wounds that she would have to hide and later feel
ashamed of. It was a never ending process and her therapist had to really work
with her to change these ways. Eventually, she found other ways to cope with
her sadness and self hatred. She is doing very well and is feeling great
lately. With a bittersweet heart, that girl is me.
It took me some time, but I eventually realized the actions I
did against myself I were not helping to fix the problem. I learned that cutting
my body only made me feel worse in the end, and I had to go an extra mile to
cover up what I did. I was coping very negatively. In the process of
understanding how bad I was coping I realized other thoughts I had were affecting
me negatively.
Here are some coping mechanisms people may not realize that are
negative:
Driving fast in a car
Chewing your nails
Avoiding friends and family
Yelling at others
Procrastination
Some others, maybe obvious ones, are self-mutilation, using
drugs and alcohol, negative criticism of oneself, lying, eating too much or too
less, and doubt. If you know what negative coping techniques are you’re one
step ahead because you can avoid them from the beginning. I’m glad to say I found
ways to cope positively, although it is still hard at times. I believe everyone can find a way to escape their negative coping mechanisms, no matter how hard the struggle can be.
If you or anyone you know has a tendency to use negative coping techniques, either talk to them or seek help. It is important that you keep yourself safe and healthy. If you ever need someone to talk to, or know someone who is in danger, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Don't be hesitant to call, trust me.
In all you do, know you are worth it, no matter the situation.
In
my journey of finding what coping techniques worked for me, I spent some time
in the negative coping arena. It wasn’t one of the most proud moments in my
life, but I made it through which is all that matters to me. I had to change my
mind set to begin to accept more positive coping techniques.
Some of the generic or most known coping techniques are
exercise, reading, writing, or listening to music. These are skills I believe
college students use a lot because they are easy to do. But, in my quest to
find coping mechanisms that worked for me, those listed above weren’t enough
for me. I love to exercise so I would try to hit the gym three times a week,
but I also had dance classes every night so I had to be careful not to overdo
it. Reading was hard for me because I’ve always had a busy schedule and I couldn’t
find the time to sit down to read. I still
journal and write and it has grown on me more over the years. I make special time
to just sit down and write out all of my feelings and thoughts that have been
building up. Listening to music is always fun, but it becomes an action of everyday
life for teenagers, so it can be hard to find it as a coping technique.
After doing more research and experimenting, I’ve found some
great techniques that work for me very well. First, I love when things are organized
and clean. Whenever I feel down or stressed I will clean. Some days I would
spend all day cleaning my room. From doing laundry to vacuuming my floor and
cleaning my mirrors, I would do it all. Some days, I would even organize my
closet. Throughout most of high school, my closet was color coordinated. When I
had friends over they would notice and make a comment, but I loved it and kept
me calm. Another coping mechanism that really worked for me was when I painted
my nails or would play with different hairstyles. I would do things to pamper
myself and make myself feel good. If I had the time, I would make a whole day
out of it by taking a nice long shower, drying my hair, styling it, and
painting my nails. I would have my own low-key spa day, without spending money.
However, shopping and spending money can work as a coping mechanism as well. (Retail therapy is
REAL). There are some other little techniques I use like surrounding myself by
my best friends, laughing, and making others laugh.
My techniques may not work for you, but I suggest you give
them a try! I didn’t even realize some of the coping techniques I used would actually
help me or were even considered coping techniques.
Here are some other
techniques that have worked for me, or ones that I would like to try and
suggest you try, too:
Play with a pet
Watch a favorite TV show or movie
Rip paper into little tiny pieces
Cry it out
Go on a walk
Go fora
really long drive
Read the Bible
Stretch
Find a new music artist or listen to a different
genre from what you’re used to
I hope you can try
some of these techniques. Let me know how they work out for you, so I can learn
more about how it helped you.
One important skill I didn’t mention is using God. (If you’re
a Christian that is.) It was hard for me at first to wrap my head around this
concept, and it still is at times. Rely and pray to God and He will answers
your prayers and lift your problems up from you. I only started to read my
Bible within the past year and a half, but it has helped me a lot. God loves us
more than we can ever imagine. Below is a video of a woman’s story of how was
stress and what she did to help her get through it, and how she used God to
help her.
I hope this blog post can encourage you to search and test out positive coping mechanisms that work for you.
Coping is simply defined as facing or dealing with responsibilities, problems, or difficulties, especially successfully or in a calm or adequate manner (dictionary.com).There are many instances in life when coping is something you'll need to do. I went through a stage in my adolescence where I couldn't personally cope with the situations in my life at the time. I eventually had to seek how to cope and what the purpose of coping was. I learned that coping wasn't a scary or annoying process you had to go through to feel better. Most of the coping techniques I really enjoyed were activities I already did in my life. I learned quickly what coping techniques to use when and how I could benefit the most from the techniques. However, there are positive and negative coping skills, which was a different obstacle I had to overcome. Coping is used to help a person feel better about a particular circumstance in their life. Learning how to cope has helped me tremendously to push through tough times in my life and become the person I am today.
